If you're reading this, that means that I decided to post this (after great deliberation).  I don't really know who all reads this out there since I know that Xanga is slowly becoming obsolete with all the other social networks out there like Facebook and Myspace.  So I'm gonna type this, not really caring if any of you read this, as this post is mostly for my own benefit right now.  Some of you may or may not know this, but I have a pretty hard time talking about how I feel and why I feel that way.  Even if I try, it's still hard for me to express in words how I feel.  So for this post, I'm going to start trying to express myself on here to get rid of all the tension I feel inside.  I don't really have anyone besides God that I can talk to about stuff like this, so right now is good for me in that I feel like I'm talking to an anonymous person that cares and understands. :)  To begin: this year, as a high school junior, is harder than any other so far.  Even as a freshman and sophomore, school was pretty easy for me, even though it didn't seem like it at the time.  This year classes are much harder for me and I continually get frustrated with schoolwork and how much of it there is to do.  Chemistry, American Issues, Pre-Cal/Trig., and English are the main classes that keep me busy most of the time.  I enjoy them, but Pre-Cal is difficult at times, as is Chemistry.  American Issues and English aren't really too difficult, but there's always lots of projects to keep me busy.  I seem to be constantly under stress, and every time I think there's going to be a break, more work and worries get piled on.  I know I should remember the verse in the Sermon on the Mount where it says "Do not worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will worry about itself." That whole passage is a good one to reflect on during times of stress, but it's soooo much harder for me to do in real life since I'm such a worrywart. :)  I'm sorry if my thoughts aren't in some semblance of order during this, but I'm kind of just writing as I think of things. 
Quick Rcall is a new thing this year.  It's like a trivia challenge team type thing....i guess. ;)  I'm liking it well enough.  I just went to my first match this past Monday and even though it was a little nerve-racking, I had fun and was happy that I answered more that one question right!
I've been doing a lot of stuff with piano this year and my teacher is pushing me to my limits.  It's lots of fun but I get frustrated with my own talent, and sometimes lack of discipline.  I like to do all the fun stuff and not the technical excercises that helps me be able to play the fun stuff better.  Even though lots of people say I'm really good, I know that it's relevant and that I'm really not that great at piano.  I'm only great compared to most people at my school.  I don't know if I'm good enough to go to college for it.  There are seriously A LOT of better piano players out there, which is really discouraging for me, but I really do enjoying playing it anyways. 
Another thing on my mind lately is college, college, and COLLEGE!  As a junior, I'm having to start thinking and planning for the future, which means taking the SAT and ACT (re-taking in my case), getting lots of stuff in the maili from colleges, thinking about college visits, scholarships, what major to choose, and so on.  I thought I was pretty sure of my major as a music teacher, but lately I've been rethinking it and am not so sure anymore.  Maybe I want to be a Spanish teacher, or major in library science.  I'm not sure how well I'd do with kids: understanding them, being patient with them, etc.  
Also, lately I've been thinking about what will happen after I graduate...after all, I will be a senior next year! (hyperventilating here)  What in the world am I going to do without my wise and loving parents?  Will I be able to support myself on my own?  How in the WORLD am I going to pay for college?
Stuff like that...btw colleges I'm currently considering seriously are RBC (of course), OSU (duh), Captial, Cedarville, Bluffton, DePaul, and maybe Wheaton.  So yeah, that definitely narrows it down...NOT! (ok, yeah kinda). 
Another piece of news...my dad lost his job at Alkon, which meants a significant decrease in income for our family and we're going to have to cut back on some things. :(  My dad's not sure what God's calling him to do yet, but he'll probably be full time pastor or get another full time job.  Please pray for guidance during this time. 
Friends...ha.  I don't know where to start.  I'm having weird feelings when it comes to the ones I spend the most time with....some good....and some bad.  Probably mostly bad.  Envy, jealousy, and lonesomeness are feelings I struggle with almost every day at school.  I try to talk myself out of these feelings, but I've never really had this problem before and I'm not sure what to do with it....so far it's been festering inside me because I don't feel I can talk to my friends about it, or my parents for that matter.  And even if I wanted to talk about it, I don't know if I could...it's that complicated for me. 
Anyways, one thing I'm really excited about is coming up soon....a girls' slumber party!!!  yay!  I'm excited.  I kind of planned it for youth group and invited a lot of girls that don't come to youth group and a lot can come!  I think it'll be a blast and I can't wait!   It's the first time I've ever really planned a party before and I really hope it goes well.  It'll be people from different parts of my life mixing, so it should be interesting...
Some other fun stuff going on would be crocheting...I'm working on an afghan right now and it's looking pretty good, but I never realized how much yarn it took!! It'll take me a while to finish it though, even though I'm making good progress.  Another thing would be all the books I'm reading.  I absolutely LOVE to read.  Some of my favorite authors right now that have come out with some awesome new books recently are D.J. MacHale (author of Pendragon series), Trish Perry (her writing is hilarious!), Christopher Paolini (Inheritence series!), and Julie Lessman (daughters of Boston series).  Their books are AMAZING and I would highly recommend them.  If you want to see what other books I read and love go to www.goodreads.com. 

Work is going well.  I really like and appreciate my job.  It’s truly been a godsend! It’s especially nice being able to have access to the new books and DVDs coming out, not that I take advantage of it too much.  J

Another exciting event coming up soon is my trip to Nicaragua.  Yes, I’m going there for two weeks on a mission trip with my dad.  We’re going with an organization that sends doctors and nurses to help give the local people medical and eye care.  I’m excited that I’ll get to ride on a plane for the first time ever!  I also love Hispanic culture so I’m very excited to be able to learn what it’s like in another country and be able to try out my school-learned Spanish in a real Hispanic country!  Only thing is, I’m going to miss a lot of school and other activities (like Winter Jam! L ) so I’ll have to make up lots of school work and stuff, which will definitely have me stressed for a while…oh well, it’ll be well worth it!  Please pray for my dad and I as we prepare for this big trip, especially as we need to get the money for it from somewhere and my dad no longer has his Alkon job.

Well, I’ve just about worn all my topics out, so I’ll start trying to wrap up this very lengthy post.  (Hmmm…I wonder what the longest blog entry has ever been, word-wise that is?)  Christmas is coming up and I’m ex cited!  We’re going to Alabama for Christmas, which means a 12-hour drive for me to read lots of books and stuff! Yay!  I’m also going to turn 17 in a little more than a week, which is kinda scary but cool at the same time.  I’m not exactly sure how I feel about it yet…  Unfortunately for me I work on my birthday, which is a first for me.  I usually don’t have to do anything on my birthday but have fun because I never have school on my birthday and have never had to work on my birthday before, sooo, yeah I guess I’m spoiled in that regard and am finally getting a dose of reality when it comes to my birthday.  Anyways, thanks for reading this (if you actually took the time) and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and holiday season!  Maybe I’ll post sometime after break….if I remember. J

Seasonally yours,

So, here's another post for any of you out there that actually read my blog....I guess this blog is mostly for my benefit.  It makes me feel like I'm actually keeping...sort of.....a journal or diary, but just a public, G-rated one on the Internet. ;) Anyways, I'll post, just so you guys know what's up with with me if you don't really see me much.  So my summer's pretty crazy in the way that I have babysitting jobs, my regular work job, chores, a BIG, 700-page English book to read (plus three looonnnnngggg essays to write on it), piano practice, and tons of other stuff to keep me busy, besides the fun stuff that I want to do. Our youth trip begins on Sunday at 7:30 a.m....whoppeee!!!!  (jk!)  I hate getting up early....especially in the summer.   But oh well...just grin and bear it!  Anyways, enough about sleep....another big project that's happening this summer is that we're redoing and finishing our basement...which is a whole ton of work, and everybody pitches in to help.  Choral Camp is in July and I've been asked to be the piano accompanist for the choir besides being a counsoler, which should be fun....but it also means I have to practice piano more...but that's okay because I enjoy piano!  I manage to cram reading time in anywhere in my day, and by doing this manage to chew (not literally!) my way through books at a steady pace...one at a time. :)  One of my most eminent summer enjoyments is upon me and tomorrow my family and I are going to Cedar Point for the first time!  I'm really excited and look forward to riding all the thrill rides and roller coasters!  Not to mention Pre-Band Camp, Band Camp, family vacation, camping, kyaking, CMC and yeah, I still have to write those three long essays in between.  And this weather!!!  It's crazy hot!  Like Mid-July, Early-August HEAT WAVE!  Anyways, we need to leave at 6:30 tomorrow morning, so I better get some sleep...

Toodles!

Larissa

So, my life's not bad right, now but I'm definitely kept busy with school, band and work.  I enjoy it though. :)  Old Fashioned C-mas is coming up, which should be fun...only I have to work that night, so I'll have to see what I can work out.  Jazz Band is pretty fun, whereas Concert Band is more of a drag musically (at least compared to Jazz Band).  In Spanish we're watching Finding Nemo right now, which is pretty funny! "My Squishy!"  Anyways, our family is going down to Alabama this week, and I'm going to drive most of the way.  Well, I might update more later, but now I've got to go to work...

Have a splendiferous day!

Larissa